backwards life, like merlin, lived. forward in reverse, on one condition it's unconditional. hey! leave me alone! he says it's a good way to meet people, but i don't want to meet people, i want to already have known people. i want to remember the code for this Master lock, but i never will, but it's here next to me anyways. and then, i walk into a drunk house, and i squeeze onto a couch with the Bitch, who's smelling me and telling me i'm fine, and i only stay for a half hour, because that's how long the television show is. i'm itchy, unbelievably itchy. i smell like spoiled milk. all i want to do is shave, but i keep finding not the time to do it. i want vitamins, too, and i want to have better personal hygiene in general. will i build a routine? will, daily compiled the list of chores make my sadly short life sadly shorter? if i check off a list, even a mental one, is that really going to pass the days quicker than they already do? i should rush to death, i should rush there and when i'm there i want to gather whatever loved ones i have remaining, and i want to have them lean in closely to hear my dying words, which will be, "my friends, all my life i've cherished you all. i may not have been a saint, but i always meant well. don't cry, don't cry, please, it's not the time for that. i am happy, it is a time for celebration! but listen, i mustn't tarry, i'd like to tell you a story. When i was just a child, my family would go on hikes in New Hampshire. i would stray from the path, seeking out little rivers and streams. with a stick i would patiently and diligently scrape away the silt and muck that obstructed the stream. when i was done what was once barely a dribble would be a river. i felt proud of my handiwork, but one day, in my work, i strayed too far from the path and from my family. when i found them again my mom got scared, she said 'you're moving to your aunty and uncle's in Bel Air.' i whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said 'FRESH' and there were dice in the mirror. if anything, i could tell that this cab was rare, but i thought, 'man, forget it, yo home to Bel Air!' we pulled up to the house about seven or eight and i yelled to the cabbie 'yo homes smell ya later!' i looked at my kingdom - i was finally there! - to settle my thrown as the prince of Bel Air!" And then with a heaving, shuddering gasp, i will die.